This is what happens when you book a wedding venue sight unseen....
Mr & Mrs. Heafner
Flathead Lake, Montana
8.12.2018
Hey Tanner; Remember that one time we planned an entire destination wedding in 9 months from 1200+ miles away? Let’s do it again. Maybe Italy this time? ;)
Our wedding weekend was a dream ✨
Not to toot my own horn - but toot toot!
Just like any project you take on; you start off hopeful & excited… and somewhere in the middle you are suddenly questioning your existence.
This is how I felt planning my own wedding. With no planner, coordinator, day of coordinator, NAAAADA.
Just me & my Pinterest board.
We actually planned 4 different weddings.
First one was in Arizona. We had a venue picked out & everything, just waiting to put a deposit down. Something didn’t sit right with us, so we decided to do a destination wedding instead. Hawaii first, then Jamaica. (Because, money. lmao that’s why) I had a travel agent that was helping me plan our destination wedding in Jamaica when we had a series of unfortunate family events happen. So after me stressing out and planning what felt like 100 different weddings… Tanner fiiiiinally spoke up. “Hey babe, why don’t we just rent out a really dope cabin in Montana for the weekend and invite our closest family and friends and just have a fun weekend with everyone and do it in the backyard or by the lake.” I sat there….. Like where the HELLL have you been this entire time?! YES! So, starting January of 2018, we planned an entire wedding from 1,000+ miles away in 8 months.
The funniest thing?
We booked our wedding venue sight unseen. I curled my own hair. My best friend made our signs. My bridesmaids made our table decorations from what was on the ground in the backyard. We ate Huckleberry pie instead of wedding cake. We had taco’s for dinner. My brother married us. My other brother pressed play on my iPod playlist named “wedding day jams.” I was barefoot the whole night, including walking down the ceremony.
Nothing really was traditional or what you would expect at a wedding. And guess what?? it was MAGICAL. Honestly, better than any wedding I’ve ever been to or been apart of. Maybe I’m biased because it was my own, but it was just so…. Low-key.
So us.
We wrote our own vows, and decided to read them to each other in private at our first look.
and truly, it was the most memorable moment of the whole day.
I crept up behind him, with butterflies in my stomach. It was quiet - almost eerie, yet comfortable. I’m barefoot, feeling my toes in the cold grass, with my train collecting twigs & pine cones behind me.
I asked him “are ya ready babe?”
And before he could answer, I tapped him on the left shoulder and he turned.
I’ve had very few moments in my life where it seems like the whole world stops for a second. This was one of them, and I wish it would have stopped for just a second longer.
- all that mattered was that my best friend was standing across from me - and we were ready to enter eternity together.
All these long late night talks that started with “when we’re married..” finally came to fruition. ✨
We sat there in awe of each other. I couldn’t believe that someone could look that good in suspenders & a bow tie. I flashed back to the day we went to prom together, and remember seeing his dorky bowl hair cut and how he was so nervous and jittery. And now sitting in front of me, is the same man… except now we have so much history together.
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We decided who was going to read their vows first - by the only true way we know how to make a decision. Roshambo / rock-paper-scizzors baby.
He won. :(
Having that intimate & private moment before the ceremony seriously made all the difference in the world.
It was the only time that entire day where we just got to stop & admire each other and the commitments we were making. ✨ Be present in the moment instead of nervous because everyone was looking at us 😅
It was hard to decide whether to do a first look or not; because we all want that ‘walking down the aisle’ moment - but rest assured - we still were able to have that moment, and it was just as powerful as if we hadn’t seen each other before hand. 💕
The backyard / “venue” that we got married in was everything I could’ve imagined it to be. I wanted a green, lush wedding so I could have minimal decor and florals.
I actually had my very own grass walkway that was formed with rock-stone-like structure that was an ideal backdrop for our arch.
I was able to walk down and actually see everybody from an upper point of view that looked over the lake.
And just to think… we booked this without ever knowing what it actually looked like in person.
I walked down the aisle to “Angel” by Jack Johnson. Tanner instantly started to cry the moment I started walking down. I kept it together until I turned the corner & saw him.
“She gives me presents, with her presence alone. ”
We honestly laughed through half of our ceremony. Yes, we shed tears of course, but we both messed up on our words and I yelled “damnit!!” after I messed up because I was doing so good!! 😂
Cinderella could nevvvverrrr. :P
Candles burnt, empty wine glasses & beer cans… the end of a great night.
Xoxox.
We all partied and danced the night away, I ended up getting cold and wearing a teal North Face Jacket. 😂 CLASSYYYY. (it was in the mountains and I am used to AZ weather, so freaking sue me lmao)
All in all, the night was everything I could’ve imagined. I just wish it could’ve lasted so much longer.
I learned so much while planning our wedding from 1,200+ miles away.
I learned why people have wedding planners. I learned why people hire wedding coordinators. I learned it was basically a full-time job planning a wedding. But I also knew I wanted to do it so I could help other brides & show them what’s possible. What’s worth it or not worth it.
But the most important thing that I learned is that your wedding day shouldn’t be filled with traditions that you don’t care about. It should be a direct representation of your relationship and what built you into the people you are today. It’s not about the table linens or aunts and uncles that you haven’t talked to in years, it’s about the people who raised you, who supported you. and who cherish you. It’s about the MARRIAGE that you’re celebrating, not just the wedding that you’re throwing.
It’s your family + legacy you’re starting. Say f*ck it to the old traditions and make your own traditions.
VENDORS:
PHOTOGRAPHER: Kristiann Photography
VENUE: airbnb // vrbo.
TABLES & CHAIRS: Empress tents & events
PIES: Loulas Cafe, whitefish MT
DRESS: Maggie Sottero Designs (patience)
GROOMSMEN OUTFITS: the tie bar
Hair + Makeup: My bridesmaids came through
Table Decor: Bridesmaids CAME THROUGH (literally picked up scraps around the yard LOL)
If anyone ever has any questions about our wedding, how I planned it, etc. - feel free to reach out. :)
The one thing that people don’t warn you about - is the wedding day **emotional** hangover.
The next day, you wake up, you’re in heaven & yet everybody leaves and goes back to their normal life. And you sit there and just so badly wish you could relive that night over and over and over again. The next day after our wedding we were both actually SO SAD. Hahahaha like clearly not sad that we just got married, but more sad because we had everyone together that we loved in our lifetime that has completely shaped us into the people and couple we are today - are gone the next day. It’s so bittersweet. Just to know it happened, but also the moments and day you’ve been anticipating for months or even YEARS now, is over.
It’s brutal if I’m being honest. Maybe it’s just because nobody ever warned me about it, but the emotional hangover is REAL.